the outpouring of sympathy and condolences at my recent sad news is amazing, much like the time i found out i have aids.
oh shit. i haven’t told anyone about that yet. fuck.
i’m off on wednesday to dubai and jordan for a week of fun and frolic while learning about private sector development. yes, i know my life rocks, and all of you wish you could be me.
in other, more important news, it seems that my favorite movie channel, star movies, whose defining quality is the fact that they show pretty decent movies without commercial breaks, has been infected with lindsey lohan. seriously. i’ve wasted what seems like several precious days of my life watching lindsey lohan frolic around on my tv screen, mainly because there’s really nothing else to watch at 4 in the morning.
all this lohan exposure, in addition to katie holmes’ disgusting obsession with sucking off tom cruise’s face, has convinced me to finally change my priorities. and therefore, i present:
list of women i would make sweet love to:
1. aishwariya rai
2. keira knightley
3. drew barrymore
4. sania mirza
5. lucy liu
list of women i would bang:
1. mandy moore (just to get her to shut the hell up)
2. jennifer lopez
3. eliza dushku
4. jennifer anniston
5. you know…whatsherface.
there. i can no longer be blamed for a lack of diversity in my sexual appetite. i think i’ve basically covered all the major ethnic groups in that list, except italians. i fucking hate italians.
by the way, if you are any of the above, please do stop by anytime.
see you in dubai, or next week.